


Someday, The Boy

by cixquisite



Category: CIX (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bae Jinyoung is Drunk, M/M, Mentions of alcohol and being drunk, Post-Break Up, drunk yongbae flirting, if you're looking for fluff you got the wrong address sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24819826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cixquisite/pseuds/cixquisite
Summary: Years from now, that boy then will have gotten all he had ever dreamed ofOr:A night out during a business trip to Cheongju does not go at all as planned.
Relationships: Bae Jinyoung & Kim Yonghee, Bae Jinyoung/Kim Seunghun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Someday, The Boy

**Author's Note:**

> when I was listening to music 'Someday, The Boy' by Kim Feel came on and this just kind of... happened. If you want to play music while reading, I recommend playing that song!
> 
> many thanks to [Beia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chuuhun) for being my beta reader and putting up with my annoying ass ♡ definitely go and check out her work on here too, she's an amazing bean!
> 
> also a shout out to the cix writers gc for hyping me up <3

It has been a long time since Jinyoung has last visited this place. Truth to be told, he doesn’t even remember the name of this place anymore. The minuscule piece of information couldn’t penetrate the thick fog enveloping his brain anyway—it’s what coming to Cheongju does to him. 

Every. Single. Time.

He does it regardless. It’s all he can do. 

Stepping into the bar, Jinyoung didn’t even feel the slightest change in temperature anymore. His eyes immediately wander around the room, looking for the bar. However, the lights begin to blend together, resembling one of these pretty spinny-things you can hold against the sun. What was their name again? 

It doesn’t matter.

More alcohol.

After a few minutes of stumbling all over, finding a place for his jacket and bumping into several people left and right, Jinyoung finally manages to arrive at the bar, nearly missing the barstool there. Again. This one marks what? Number…four? Five? Who cares. He needs more alcohol. 

‘Give me—hic—anything you have, Mr Bartender,’ he stammers. The lopsided smile on his petite face doesn’t even embarrass him anymore. He has long since stopped caring.

‘Hey…you sure? You seem quite drunk already,’ the bartender asks, his brow furrowed, but Jinyoung couldn’t see it clearly anymore.

The bartender is cute though, adorable even. 

‘Heyy, Mr Cutie Ba—hic—rtender!’ The man pointed at his own face, puzzled. ‘Yes! You!’ Jinyoung grinned and jumped from his chair, his finger pointing at the employee. With a serious face, he adds, ‘I think you’re adorable,’ and explodes in a fit of giggles and hiccups. 

‘And I think you’ve had enough for tonight,’ the bartender replies. 

Not minding his reply, Jinyoung concludes that the bartender is indeed cute. Very much so. Unblemished skin, gorgeous eyes with a _very_ kissable mole right there (!!!) and, dare he say, firm-looking, squeezable cheeks.

Jinyoung giggles.

And hiccups. He’s a mess.

‘What kind of…bever…bev—,’ he scrunches his nose, ‘Dri—hic—Drink! Yes! What drink do you recommend, Mr Moles?’ Having given up on finding his barstool again, Jinyoung simply rests his elbow on the bar to hold up his head. 

Jinyoung is ecstatic about the look of utter irritation he receives in return. 

‘Mr Moles?’ the pretty man scoffs, ‘What kind of nickname even is that? Can’t you think of a better one, Mr Blueberry Head?

‘Blue…berry?’ Jinyoung repeats slowly. He tilts his head and looks at the bartender as if he wants him to explain it to him, ‘who’s a—hic—blueberry?’

He hears the bartender snort, and Jinyoung watches him dry a cocktail glass with a towel. 

‘You.’

‘Me?’

‘Yes, you,’ the bartender smiles with amusement.

Jinyoung points at himself and hiccups. ‘What’s your favourite blueberry flavour then?’

‘There’s different blueberry flavours?’ Mr Moles asks. 

‘Of course!’ Jinyoung beams, ‘I like the ta—hic—sty ones the most!’ 

The drunk stranger looks delighted by his exclamation. Yonghee doesn’t have the heart to ruin it for him and simply laughs along with him. 

At the same time they were laughing together, a gust of cold air came flooding in, accompanying a small group of people stepping inside through a door in the back of the bar. Jinyoung is not fazed by the freezing wind at all, but Mr Mole looks to be all of a tremble. _How cute, he thinks._

‘Are you cold, Mr Moles?—hic—Should we cuddle?’ Jinyoung asks while trying—and miserably failing—to wiggle his eyebrows. 

The pretty bartender snorts loudly in response. 

‘Yeah, dude, you’ve definitely had enough for today. You’re not getting anymore from me tonight,’ Mr Moles says while holding back full-blown laughter, ‘Is there somebody who can fetch you and get you home safely?’

Even the voice of Mr Moles sounds like a beautiful melody. A wonderful song,which would surely lull him to sleep if it weren’t for him sitting amid a gigantic crowd of chatting young adults. The bartender is gorgeous indeed; Jinyoung stares in awe. 

_Sigh._

‘Hello?’ There’s a hand flying from one side of his vision to the other. It makes him dizzy. Jinyoung shakes his head, giggles, and hiccups some more.

His giggles come to an abrupt stop when he feels a shiver run down his spine. It’s a different shiver this time, not like the minuscule one earlier. He feels like somebody is watching him, but he doesn’t pay that thought any mind. Instead, he searches for Mr Moles’ eyes again. Such pretty eyes, just like _his_ were. 

In an instant, it was as if a shadow had fallen over Jinyoung, his eyes shiny with accumulating tears and pain.

‘Mr Moles?—hic—’ he pauses for what feels like forever, ‘your strongest please.’ 

The bartender could only stare weirdly at the drunk man and his sudden change in demeanour. 

‘Are you okay, dude?’

He only gets a sloppy but dismissive waving of a hand in response. 

‘What a strange character,’ the bartender mumbles and shakes his head with a tiny smile gracing his lips.

+++

Jinyoung isn’t sure how many minutes have passed since Mr Moles had placed a funky-looking blue cocktail in front of his face, but he’s positive this mix of liquids the same colour as his hair will help chase these thoughts away. It has to, he wouldn’t know what to do if it doesn’t. Allowing his gaze to wander across the room, he takes a sip of the drink. 

Mr Moles has left him alone, tending to other customers’ wishes, doing what an all-around good bartender does at work. 

‘Men leaving me seems to be a trend in my life, doesn’t it?’ His own pitiful laughter sounds in his ears, and the only option left for him is shaking his head. In disbelief or pity, he has yet to decide. 

+++

Still occupied with burning holes into the head of Mr Moles with his eyes, Jinyoung notices a sudden bustling around the stage area in the corner of his eyes. Was somebody going to perform? If so, Jinyoung only hopes they’re apt and capable. 

His gaze continues to wander around the establishment. Flashing lights and people moving about, the pictures in his head are getting more and more blurry, and he’s starting to get dizzier and dizzier. Maybe looking around wasn’t the best idea after all. He decides to rest his eyes for a bit, leaning back and letting the bar support the entirety of his weight.

He tunes out all the noise around him, trying to calm himself a bit.

‘Maybe Mr Moles was right,’ Jinyoung muses, ‘maybe I should stop for today.’

As he tries to fish out the wallet from his back pocket, Jinyoung picks up the faint sound of an instrumental beginning to play. The pleasant arpeggios sound through the room clearly. For such a peculiar setting, a bar somewhere in the city at nearly God-knows-what o’clock, a sound this soft and slow feels entirely out of place. 

Jinyoung wants to hear more, he is intrigued. 

Slowly, violins are joining the mix, and Jinyoung feels like he’s going to see dancing animals and talking teapots any second now. This situation is both ridiculous and perfectly fitting at the same time. 

_Maybe I really drank more than I thought I did_ , the drunk man ponders, rubbing his temples firmly. Subsequently, an agonising feeling of pain explodes behind his skull. 

_Wrong move, Bae Jinyoung! Wrong move!_ He drops his hand instantly. 

However, when the person on stage finally opens their mouth and starts singing—Jinyoung’s brain shuts off, his racing thoughts coming to a standstill. 

It’s _him_. 

He’d recognise that distinct voice anywhere. 

_Kim Seunghun_ is here. _Here_. In the same bar. With Jinyoung. Together. At the same time. _Right now!_

He can feel his knees buckle and his body nearly plummets to the ground like a wet sack of rice. 

**길었던 하루 그림잔**

**아직도 아픔을 서성일까**

**말없이 기다려 보면**

**쓰러질 듯 내게 와 안기는데**

Jinyoung is at a loss for words. The very reason he had gone out to drink while on this business trip to Cheongju in the first place is right there on stage, a mere 15 meters away from him. 

What is he supposed to do?!

Jinyoung all but _panics_ and all the alcohol seemingly evaporated from within his body in an instant.

His eyes jump frantically between the person on stage, illuminated by various stage lights and literally glowing, and finding the nearest exit to bolt. 

He needs to leave immediately, yet his feet refuse to budge, rooted to the ground. 

**마음에 얹힌 슬픈 기억은**

**쏟아낸 눈물로는 지울 수 없어**

**어디서부터 지워야 할까**

**허탈한 웃음만이**

**가슴에 박힌 선명한 기억**

**나를 비웃듯 스쳐 가는 얼굴들**

**잡힐 듯 멀리 손을 뻗으면**

**달아나듯 조각난 나의 꿈들만**

First and foremost, Jinyoung needs to calm down. Slumping against his trusted friend the counter, he takes a long and deep breath. _I can do this! Just calm down!_

He catches the bartender from earlier throwing glances at him. Concerned probably. Doesn’t matter. There are more pressing matters to attend to right now, namely Seunghun singing on stage about shedding tears, vivid memories and shattered dreams.

It’s ironic really—and somewhat cruel—but Jinyoung guesses it is his karma catching up. He deserves it probably. 

It’s pretty likely actually. 

Okay, he definitely does. He just has to power through. Everything is going to be okay!

**두 갈래 길을 만난 듯**

**멍하니 한참을 바라보다**

**무언가 나를 이끌던**

**목소리에 한참을 돌아보면**

A hollow laugh is the only sound creeping past his lips, the sheer mockery in those four lines of the song is baffling. This song feels like a twisted intervention of some sort. Did Seunghun know he would be here tonight?

Suddenly he feels sick to his stomach. 

**지나온 모든 순간은 어린**

**슬픔만 간직한 채 커버렸구나**

**혼자서 잠들었을 그 밤도**

**아픔을 간직한 채**

Jinyoung covers his ears with his hands, blocking out the sound as well as he can. 

**시간은 벌써 나를 키우고**

**세상 앞으로 이젠 나가 보라고**

**어제의 나는 내게 묻겠지**

**웃을 만큼 행복해진 것 같냐고**

It’s futile. 

Thrashing his head around, he hopes to escape the reality of this situation. 

He doesn’t want it anymore! He wants it to _stop_! 

Jinyoung jumps to his feet and starts running in the general direction in which he thinks that one door was. He doesn’t care where he goes, he simply has to get away from this place. Completely disregarding his surroundings, he bumps into several guests along the way. There’s no time for apologising. 

_MOVE!_ he screams inside his head, _FOR GOD’S SAKE GET OUT OF MY WAY!_ After making a turn around a corner, he nearly slams into a wall. He catches himself. 

Jinyoung can feel the walls of the building closing in on him, threatening to suffocate him every second now. The bustling noise of the bar, as well as the song being sung on stage, fade into the background. Instead, a static noise rings bright in his ears and turns his brain mushy. He barely feels something wooden through the pins and needles running up his arm. 

Then, all of a sudden: fresh air. 

He did it! He somehow got outside! Jinyoung stumbles and crashes onto the floor, gasping for air, trying to get as much oxygen as possible into his lungs. 

He rolls to lie on his back. 

Silence. 

He exhales deeply. 

**아직 허기진 소망이**

**가득 메워질 때까지**

**시간은 벌써 나를 키우고**

**세상 앞으로 이젠 나가 보라고**

**어제의 나는 내게 묻겠지**

**웃을 만큼 행복해진 것 같냐고**

**아주 먼 훗날 그때 그 아인**

**꿈꿔왔던 모든 걸 가진 거냐고**

He only hears the voice muffled and quiet now. He got out! He managed to escape! Jinyoung closes his eyes and lets his head fall back to the ground. 

It’s _over! Thank god!_

+++

For the next ten minutes, Jinyoung does not move. He must’ve left through a door which was not the front entrance—it was too quiet to be a street with vibrant lights and buzzing with nightlife. Instead of worrying, Jinyoung revels in the silence, thoughts running wild. 

After a while, the chill of the early spring night gets to him, his checkered sweater no longer sufficient in keeping him warm. However, returning inside to the bar would result in an astronomically high chance of running into the one person he does not want to see under any circumstances whatsoever. Seunghun would probably punch him. 

So Jinyoung remains outside, but he gets up and takes in his surroundings. It’s a decent outdoor deck; the owner most likely uses this space during the warm summer months. There’s even a gate for easy access. 

He goes over to the railing, resting his arms and intertwining his hands. He looks out to the night sky. Stars are peaking through the wall of clouds here and there, single specs of light shining in the dark. 

Jinyoung scoffs. 

Everybody regards stars as beautiful and breathtaking, Jinyoung has learned to despise them. Stars are a promise of hurt and sadness. He prefers the impenetrable smog in Seoul. Smog means no stars, no stars means not being reminded of his own failure. Coping in the big city is way more comfortable than confronting his fears head-on in the countryside. Maybe he is a coward, who knows. 

Whatever. 

As his gaze lowers, ghosting over the illuminated windows of the surrounding buildings, somebody comes running out of the bar. 

Mr Moles. 

‘Oh thank god! There you are,’ pants the newcomer, completely out of breath, ‘I’ve been looking for you all over.’ 

Jinyoung merely stares at the man standing in the door, hand on the door frame to stop his body from collapsing in a sorry heap on the floor. 

‘What are you doing here, Mr Moles? You weren’t worried about me, were you?’ Jinyoung inquires. 

‘Yonghee,’ Mr Moles answers, ‘my name is Yonghee. Nice to meet you….’

‘Jinyoung.’

Jinyoung catches the nod of the other man in his peripherals, turning his head to continue people watching. 

‘I’m glad you’re safe then, Jinyoung. You suddenly bolted from the bar, I feared maybe something bad had happened.’ 

He stops looking around the neighbourhood and focuses his attention on the bartender. He really is cute.

‘Tell me, Yonghee,’ he begins but immediately pauses to sort his thoughts, looking down at his hands. 

‘Tell me, have you ever loved a person so deeply that, even though you’re the one responsible for the break-up, you can’t help but think back to the times you had with them every moment you’re alone? Do you know that feeling?

I’ve cried for so long there are no more tears left, yet I’m still coming back to the place that hurts me the most…’

The silence drags down the atmosphere around them. It’s heavy. Jinyoung feels like he’s back at the bar again, drowned in the boisterous ocean of people. 

‘Do you think I’m insane for coming back, Yonghee?’ Jinyoung questions. 

Nobody speaks for what feels like hours to Jinyoung. The silence is excruciating; almost painful. He doesn’t even know why he bothered to ask in the first place. 

‘I think,’ Yonghee starts, Jinyoung turns to take in the man’s side profile, ‘I think that you are not ready to close that chapter of your life yet. That is what I think.’ 

Jinyoung continues to stare for a little bit. 

‘I see.’

His eyes land back on his hands again. He’s starting to fiddle with his fingers.

‘Maybe you’re right, Mr Moles. Thank you,’ he whispers—the faintest signs of a smile flash over his face. 

Now, the silence feels so much more bearable. 

‘Let’s get you home, Jinyoung. Hm? What do you think?’ Yonghee hums, placing a gentle hand on Jinyoung’s shoulder. His voice is filled with kindness and understanding. 

‘Okay,’ Jinyoung complies without putting up any fight. His head and heart feel too heavy right now. Exhaustion has caught up to him.

As they gather themselves and begin moving back inside, a new figure appears in the door. 

This time, Jinyoung’s knees actually give way, and if it weren’t for Yonghee’s arm around his shoulder, he would be a pitiful heap on the floor right now. He desperately clings to the other man. 

Seunghun is here. 

Right in front of him. 

Jinyoung feels like somebody pulled the carpet from underneath his feet. 

The world is spinning. 

He is just as perfectly beautiful as he is in Jinyoung’s memory, yet he looks completely different at the same time. His hair shines just as soft as ever, but the grey-ish brown has become a dark ebony-black. His pretty, warm chocolate-brown eyes have turned cold. His perfect face looks slimmer than he remembers. Jinyoung briefly wonders if he’s eating enough. 

Seunghun has found him again. He’s right there; however, the rift between them feels impassable, it feels like two vastly different worlds are colliding. What Jinyoung had feared most has become a bitter reality: He does not recognise the person across from him anymore; they have become strangers. 

‘Jinyoung,’ he hears Seunghun whisper. Jinyoung squeezes his eyes shut. _No tears!_

‘Ah, hyung! I’ve found him, he’s okay! We’re going inside now, could you maybe take his other side?’ Yonghee says.

‘Yeah…’ Seunghun trails off—he doesn’t seem entirely present. 

‘Hyung?’ Yonghee questions, confused by his behaviour. 

Seunghun quickly snaps out of his stupor. ‘Right, sorry.’ 

As he feels Seunghun approach, there is only one thought in Jinyoung’s head: Run. 

So he does just that. He pushes himself off of Yonghee with newfound strength, muttering a quick ‘sorry’ for what he was about to do. Not expecting the sudden shove, Yonghee stumbles slightly and loses his grip on Jinyoung, who immediately takes off towards the gate at the back. 

‘Jinyoung! Hey! Wait!’ he yells after him.

But Yonghee’s words fall on deaf ears. Jinyoung continues to run. 

As he is running, Jinyoung tells himself that this is for the best; that the silent tears running down his face are sufficient evidence he has done the right thing. He couldn’t possibly have faced Seunghun today. 

He couldn’t have because Bae Jinyoung is a coward. And cowards do what cowards do best: they run. Cowards don’t look back and just run. 

However, this is also why cowards will never see the glaringly obvious look of hurt on the face of the person they’re running from. 

‘Why did he suddenly run away? Do you know him, Seunghun-hyung?’ Yonghee asks, apparent interest shining through. 

Seunghun only sighs. He is exhausted. ‘Yes, yes, I do.’ 

‘Who is he?’

‘Tell me, Yonghee, have you ever met a person and fallen in love so thoroughly that, even though you cried and got hurt for loving them, you still want to return to them at the end of a day, no matter what?’ Seunghun speaks with a heavy heart. 

‘No, I haven’t yet,’ the younger replies. 

‘Well, I have,’ Seunghun pauses, eyes transfixed on the spot where Jinyoung stood just moments before, ‘and you just met him.’ 

A smile filled with sorrow.

Yonghee feels like his heart is being ripped out of his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> Translation of the song lyrics (translated by [maylkm](https://www.moinnet.com/en/translated-lyrics/kim-feel-itaewon-class-ost/)):
> 
> Would my shadow from this long day  
> Still be lingering in pain  
> If I wait without a word  
> It rushes in that I might stumble
> 
> Laid atop my heart, these memories  
> Can’t just be erased by the tears I’ve shed  
> Where do I even begin erasing them  
> Hollow laughter is all there is
> 
> Vivid memories, affixed to my chest  
> Faces brush past, as if to laugh at me  
> Reaching out my hand, as if within my grasp  
> Only my shattered dreams, as if to escape me
> 
> As if at a crossroads  
> Staring blankly for a while  
> Something that drew me to it  
> To that voice, I turned for a while
> 
> You’ve grown up with every passing moment  
> Holding on to the sadness of your youth  
> Even the nights you would have been alone  
> Holding on to the pain
> 
> Time has since raised me  
> And tells me to step into the world now  
> My past self would then ask me  
> If I’m happy enough to deserve to smile now
> 
> My desires burning yet  
> Until they’re fulfilled entirely
> 
> Time has since raised me  
> And tells me to step into the world now  
> My past self would then ask me  
> If I’m happy enough to deserve to smile now
> 
> Years from now, that child then  
> Would he have gotten all that he had ever dreamed of
> 
> Also, a little fun fact for this story: The checkered sweater Jinyoung is wearing is the one he was wearing in the gonbae vlog in their bedroom. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! I don't have a cc, but if you have suggestions or want me to write something, just come and yell at me on [my twitter](https://twitter.com/cixquisite)!


End file.
